Friday, February 20, 2009

Just for Fun - Consider Hiring a Couch Potato

When searching for qualities such as single-mindedness and focused concentration, flexibility, organizational and marketing skills, fiscal responsibility, patience, and company loyalty, employers today have often failed to consider the many benefits of hiring a couch potato.

Take the couch potato's motto for example: Have tv, will watch (doesn't matter if it's working or not). He demonstrates flexibility as he adapts to fluctuating power by cranking up the generator. This total commitment and enthusiastic dedication to a single cause is such that one can't help but applaud, admire, and even lift the couch potato high as an example for others to follow.

Looking for an employee with patience? A true couch potato waiting for his favorite show is like a hunkering cat waiting to pounce on a mouse. Undaunted when breaking news pre-empts programming, a single click of the remote switches him to a different channel, where one of his favorite shows is soon to air. And, in the unlucky event that that show is also pre-empted, his patience shines bright as "click" he changes the channel yet again!

Perhaps you're looking for someone to follow current marketing trends. The couch potato can fill the bill. Just tune him into The Shopping Channel, and you're in business.

Need someone who devotes unwavering concentration to the task at hand? The couch potato may be your answer. A true couch potato's mind is so committed to the task at hand that he can block out all external distracters, including huge wrecks in front of the house, complete with accompanying emergency sirens. Further interruptions by the telephone, the dog peeing on the couch leg and imminent destruction by tornadoes are likewise dismissed.

If you don't want to spend money on remodeling your offices anytime soon, the couch potato will support your decision. Plop! Down he goes on his favorite couch that has been, through the years, lovingly molded into the right shape for his body. If he's comfortable with the old, then hey, why spend the extra bucks on something new?

And, the couch potato's thriftiness doesn't end there. The couch potato nobly refuses, despite desperate pleading from family and friends, to throw away money on new clothing. Additionally, he is a friend of the environment, refusing to waste natural resources by washing his body, clothing or dishes.

Finally, maybe you're looking for that special someone who has a finely-honed working rhythm, or routine. Again, the couch potato is your man. He heads to the television the moment he's out of bed, takes minimal breaks (only during commercials and then reluctantly), and is back on the job again until well after dark. Think of all that can be accomplished!

It's obvious a couch potato has tremendous executive potential. He stays on task for long hours, concentrates on the job at hand without being distracted by external factors, demonstrates fiscal conservation, and pays lip service to work break. What more could an employer desire in the ideal employee?

Hire a couch potato today.


Wyn said...

LOL, love it. Hey, are you on facebook blognet? Then I can add your blog to my daily readings. Hmmm, guess I'm a couch potato.

Deb Hockenberry said...

Hi Katie,
I really laughed at this & I needed it! I just came back from the nursing home from visiting Mom. This fit my dad to a T!
Deb :-)

Morgan Mandel said...

Very clever. Couch potatoes do have their uses. Only problem is if the electricity goes off and the TV doesn't work. Then what happens?

Morgan Mandel

elysabeth said...

grrrr - I hate that duplication error thing - I lost my posting.

I said to Morgan - a true couch potato will have a battery backup TV for when the power fails or at least a generator that will be at the ready.

Katie, nice job - throwing in some humor with the other stuff. But you should really make this a fun column - marketing tips from a couch potato or somethings like that - lol. We all need some humor in our lives. Thanks for sharing - E :)